What to bring and what to ask at your parent’s doctor appointment
Appointments go quickly. A little preparation means you leave with answers, and the rest of the family hears what happened.
Bring a full medication list, insurance cards, other doctors’ contact details, glasses or hearing aids, and a short list of your most important questions. Make sure the office has your parent’s permission to talk with you, let your parent speak for themselves, take notes, and share a short summary with family afterward.
Before the appointment
- Get permission. Doctors need your parent’s consent to discuss their health with you. They can agree in person or sign a release at each office. To get records without them present, you may need legal authority such as a health care power of attorney.
- Write down your top three questions, most important first.
- Note what has changed since the last visit: symptoms, falls, sleep, appetite, mood, and memory.
- Ask for an interpreter ahead of time if one is needed.
- Ask siblings what they want to know, so one person can ask for everyone.
What to bring
- A list of every medicine, vitamin, over-the-counter drug, and supplement, with dose and schedule
- Insurance cards and photo ID
- Names and numbers of your parent’s other doctors
- Recent test results or hospital discharge papers
- Glasses and hearing aids
- Your list of questions and something to take notes with
Questions to ask
About a diagnosis or symptom
- What is causing this, and what should we expect over the next few months?
- What signs mean we should call you, and which mean we should go to the emergency room?
About medicines
- What is each medicine for, and is it still needed?
- What side effects should we watch for?
- Could any of these medicines interact with each other?
About tests and treatment
- Why is this test needed, and what happens if we wait?
- What are the options, including doing nothing for now?
About daily life
- Is it safe for Mom or Dad to drive, live alone, or manage their own medicines?
- Would physical therapy, home health, or other services help?
- Who should we call with questions between visits?
During the appointment
The National Institute on Aging advises letting the older adult answer for themselves unless the doctor asks you, taking notes, avoiding side conversations with the doctor, and stepping out if your parent wants privacy.
After the appointment
- Ask for written instructions and any recommended community resources
- Update the medication list if anything changed
- Add follow-up appointments, tests, and refills to your shared calendar
- Send family a short summary: what the doctor said, what changed, and what is next
Common questions
Can I talk to my parent’s doctor without their permission?
Generally, doctors need your parent’s consent to discuss their health with you. Your parent can agree verbally at the visit or sign a release at each office. To act on their behalf or get records without them, you may need legal authority such as a health care power of attorney.
What should I bring to my parent’s doctor appointment?
Bring a complete list of medicines and supplements with doses, insurance cards, other doctors’ contact information, recent test results or discharge papers, glasses and hearing aids, and a written list of questions.
What questions should I ask my elderly parent’s doctor?
Ask what is causing any symptoms and what to expect, what each medicine is for and whether it is still needed, what warning signs mean you should call or go to the ER, and whether it is safe for your parent to drive or live alone.
How do I keep my siblings updated after a doctor visit?
Write a short summary right after the visit covering what the doctor said, any medicine changes, and next steps, and post it where everyone can see it. Add follow-up appointments and refills to a shared calendar.
Sources
- Taking Someone to a Doctor’s Appointment: Tips for Caregivers, National Institute on Aging
- Caregiver Worksheets, National Institute on Aging